


Lord of the Rings - The Cast From Hell

by Serai



Category: The Lord of the Rings (Movies)
Genre: Humor, Movie Stars, Other, Parody, Run screaming, casting, omfg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-11
Updated: 2015-08-11
Packaged: 2018-04-14 02:15:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4546350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Serai/pseuds/Serai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if Peter Jackson hadn't been at the helm?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lord of the Rings - The Cast From Hell

**Author's Note:**

> My excellent good friend Cat and I wondered what LOTR would be like if the cast were all Hollywood A-List performers. Perhaps a concept others have tackled before, but we had fun with it. 
> 
> So here's our cast listing for the epic three-part _Lord of the Rings_ , as packaged by CAA and William Morris.

  
**_Lord of the Rings_ \- The Cast From Hell**

**Ashton Kutcher** as _Frodo Baggins_  
**Tom Cruise** as _Aragorn son of Arathorn_  
**Sean Connery** as _Gandalf the Grey_  
**Adam Sandler** as _Sam Gamgee_  
**Ben Affleck** and **Matt Damon** as _Merry Brandybuck_ and _Pippin Took_  
**Bruce Willis** as _Boromir of Gondor_  
**Leo DiCaprio** as _Legolas Greenleaf_  
**Danny DeVito** as _Gimli son of Gloin_  
**Harrison Ford** as _Elrond Half-Elven_  
**Catherine Zeta-Jones** as _Arwen Undomiel_  
**Cameron Diaz** as _Lady Galadriel_  
**Russell Crowe** as _Lord Celeborn_  
**George Clooney** as _Haldir of Lorien_  
**Jim Carrey** as _Gollum_  
**Clint Eastwood** as _Saruman the White_  
**Mike Myers** as _Grima Wormtongue_  
**Brad Pitt** as _Eomer son of Eomund_  
**Mel Gibson** as _Theoden King_  
**Jennifer Lopez** as _The Lady Eowyn_  
**Keanu Reeves** as _Faramir of Gondor_  
**Jack Nicholson** as _Denethor the Steward_  
**Tom Hanks** as _Bilbo Baggins_  
**Drew Barrymore** as _Rosie Cotton_  
**Anne Bancroft** as _Lobelia Sackville-Baggins_  
**Robin Williams** as _Tom Bombadil_  
**Meg Ryan** as _Goldberry_  
**Christopher Walken** as _The Witch-King of Angmar_  
**Tim Allen** as _The Mouth of Sauron_  
**The Rock** as _Lurtz_  
**Peter Falk** as _The Dark Lord Sauron_

And of course, **Arnold Schwarznegger** as _The Balrog_

 

The three films would have three different directors, because a project that took that long couldn't go without a changeover in personnel.

  
**_The Fellowship of the Ring_** , directed by **Joel Schumacher**  
**_The Two Towers_** , directed by **Michael Bay**  
and  
**_The Return of the King_** , directed by **Steven Spielberg**

 

Of course, the music would be by John Williams, and the costumes by whoever did _Legend_. 


End file.
